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The Thin Fed Line
The Thin Fed Line is the thirteenth episode of Red vs. Blue: Season 13. It aired on July 12, 2015 for sponsors and July 13th, 2015 for the general public, and is the 278th episode overall. Characters Reds and Blues *Carolina *Epsilon *Tucker *Caboose *Sarge *Grif *Simmons *Donut *Freckles *Doc *Washington (Mentioned only) New Republic *Palomo *Kimball (Mentioned only) Federal Army of Chorus *Doyle *Emily Grey Charon Industries *Felix *Locus *Sharkface *Counselor Other *Meta (Mentioned only) Plot Inside the Armonia hospital, Donut brings Doc up to speed on the events that have happened on Chorus since his disappearance, specifying Felix's betrayal, the truce between the Federal Army and New Republic, and their current plans to contact Earth of Charon Industries' involvement in the Chorus Civil War. Despite this, Doc becomes furious at the fact that nobody questioned his absence between now and then and grows maniacal like Omega. Upon hearing the sudden change in his tone of voice, Dr. Grey quickly displays interest in Doc's split personality and attempts to conduct electroshock therapy on him, prompting the latter to flee. After Grey and Donut chase after him, Carolina informs Epsilon that they need to talk. Elsewhere, the other Reds and Blues attempt to get Palomo and a Fed to socialize peacefully, though the two continue to show acrimony towards each other. Because of this, the crew allow the two to leave. Grif then suggests that they lie to both Doyle and Kimball by specifying that the other wants to apologize over a dinner, but the others disagree. Sarge then indicates that must find a neutral party to do the job, just as Doc passes by while being chased by Grey and Donut. Meanwhile, at the city limits, Carolina questions Epsilon about his sudden disappearance during her fight with Sharkface. Epsilon tries to avoid the question at first but Carolina demands an answer from him. In response, Epsilon explains that although he is not failing, he has his limits and cannot run multiple armor enhancements by himself, due to the fact that he is only an A.I. fragment. While Carolina apologizes to Epsilon for pushing him too far, she acknowledges that his inability to run multiple enhancements can't be used as an excuse, as they must use any advantage they can in order to defeat the Space Pirates. Because of this, Epsilon warns Carolina not to follow in the Meta's footsteps, as his ambition to gain as much power as possible led to his downfall. Offended and hurt, Carolina reveals to Epsilon that she saw her fellow Freelancers die while inside the portal at the Jungle Temple. In addition, she also saw the Blood Gulch Crew die soon after, and fearfully states that she doesn't want to lose another family. Doyle soon appears and consoles Carolina, stating that he knows what it's like to be afraid. He then states that "Courage is not the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it." though incorrectly states that the quote is from William Shakespeare. Despite Doyle's mistake, Carolina and Epsilon acknowledge their liking to the quote. Meanwhile, Felix releases his frustration after discovering that the key will not operate until Doyle is killed and blames Sharkface for not informing them of this. Just before he and Sharkface fight, Locus intervenes and reminds them that they already have a plan and have no business quarreling. He then tells the two to focus on their jobs, prompting Felix and Sharkface to return to their objectives. Locus then contacts the Counselor on board the Tartarus, who asks him if he wishes to speak with Carmichael. Locus declines this and asks the Counselor to tell him more about the Meta. Transcript Fade in, outside the Armonia Hospital, at which five medical officers comprising of the New Republic and the Federal Army, seem to be talking to one another as the Intercom comes over. Intercom: Paging Doctor Wooten. Doctor Wooten? ...Doctor Wooten? Cut to Dr. Grey and Donut inside the hospital, whereas Donut is talking to Doc about their experiences since Doc has been missing. ARMONIA HOSPITAL Donut: And then it turned out Felix was evil, so we exposed the truth, stopped the civil war, and now we're fighting to send a distress call to Earth! Cut to Doc facing them. Doc: And at no point, during any of this, did you realize I was missing? Donut and Dr. Grey glance at each other then look back to Doc. Donut: ...Apparently not! Doc: (in O'Malley's voice) ARGH, I will destroy you all for your insufferable ignorance! Dr. Grey: Ooh! This is certainly the most vocal split personality I've ever seen. But I suppose an eternity in isolation will do that for you. (turns back to Doc) Tell me, Mr. O'Malley, when you say you wish to "destroy us all", what exactly do you think you mean by that? Doc: (in O'Malley's voice) I mean you will cease to exist! You will all die by my hand! Hahahaha! Really, it's quite self-explanatory. Dr. Grey: Well, I think there is some serious issues here we're just starting to get a hold of! Nothing a little electro-shock therapy couldn't fix... Doc: (in O'Malley's voice) HA—I beg your pardon? Dr. Grey walks up to Doc with her medical scanner glowing. Dr. Grey: (seductively) After you, handsome. Doc: (normal voice) Wa-wait! Can't we talk about this? Donut: We're gonna fix you right up, Doc! Where should I stick the thermometer? Doc: Uh... I think I need to get second opinion! Dr. Grey: We got a runner! Doc sprints away from Dr. Grey and Donut. Dr. Grey and Donut start chasing after him. Carolina is seen from the corner of the room, watching them. Epsilon appears next to Carolina. Epsilon: Finally! Some freakin' quiet... Hey, wanna see if she left her prescription pad? Carolina: We need to talk. Epsilon: (disappointed) Oh. Yeah... can we at least do it when your on heavy sedatives? Cut to the streets of Armonia, with one Federal Army soldier facing Palomo. Next to them is Tucker, Sarge, Simmons, Caboose and Grif. '' '''Simmons': Alright, let's try this again. First, we start with a friendly handshake. The two face each other. Palomo makes a strange spitting sound at the soldier. Palomo: Devil man. Federal Army Soldier: Did you just spit inside your helmet? Palomo: Take yourself, and fuck yourself... with yourself. Federal Army Soldier: ...What? Palomo: Exactly! Tucker: God damn it, Palomo. Simmons: Well, it's a step-up from assault and battery. Palomo: He provoked me! Federal Army Soldier: You Rebels are all fucking nuts. Palomo: That's impossible! Nuts don't have orifices! Go back to school! Federal Army Soldier: What about doughnuts? Palomo: Now you're just speaking in riddles and you know it! Grif and Sarge glance at each other, then Sarge looks at them. '' '''Sarge': ...I'm having a hard time following this conversation. Tucker: Ugh, forget it. You guys can go. Federal Army Soldier: Fine. (walks off) Palomo: (turns to Tucker) How'd I do? Tucker: You are a constant source of disappointment. Palomo: Alright! (walks off) Caboose: Hey... I thought I was a constant source of disappointment. Well, I WILL JUST HAVE TO TRY HARDER! SOMEONE GIVE ME A SCREWDRIVER! Tucker: Ugh! Why is this happening now!? We're in the middle of a fucking war and these guys won't do anything but hate on each other! Grif: The problem isn't with them. It's just with your approach. Sarge: What the heck's that supposed to mean? Grif: You can't force people into liking each other. You just gotta lie to them until they think they like each other. Simmons: That sounds like a terrible idea. Tucker: No, he's right. I used the same tactic on women a million times! Grif: This is basic shit. First, we tell Doyle Kimball wants to apologize and meet him for dinner. Then, we tell Kimball that Doyle wants to apologize then invite her to the same restaurant. Simmons: Oh, come on, there's no way that'll work! That's a plot point used in old sitcoms! Grif: And one of those sitcoms was called "Friends", which is exactly what we want them to be! Case closed! Sarge: Face it moron, we just ain't cut out for this kinda job. What we need is someone with a more delicate touch. Someone that can act as a neutral force. Someone that's neither red nor blue, but some sort of disgusting middle ground, like a... dark fuchsia. At that moment, Doc runs past the five, and trailing behind is Dr. Grey and Donut, while Caboose looks in their direction. Doc: You'll never take me alive! I ran track in high school! Dr. Grey: Running only makes me want you more! Silence for a few moments, then Sarge turns to the crew. Sarge: If only we knew someone that- Simmons: Oh just stop. Cut to Epsilon and Carolina facing each other on a rocky outpass outside of the Armonia grounds, essentially the boundaries. ARMONIA CITY LIMITS Carolina: What happened to you? You were with me one minute then the next you were gone. Epsilon: Alright, I know what you're tryin' to talk about here. Look, sometimes guys my age have performance issues, it's completely natural! Carolina: Epsilon, I'm serious. Epsilon: Hey, me too! This shit's embarrassing and now I gotta talk to Dr. Grey about getting some pills- Carolina: Stop dodging me on this! Epsilon: (sighs) Look, I'm not failing if that's what you're worked up about, but... I have my limits. Carolina: What do you mean? Epsilon: I mean you can't expect me to run all of your armor equipment at the drop of a hat! I'm not a young, brand new A.I.! I'm just one of the fragments. Carolina: ...Look, I'm sorry if I pushed you too far. But we can't use that as an excuse. We're going to need every advantage we can get! Epsilon: (sarcastically) Ohh, your right! Would you like some holographic projections too? How about a time distortion while you fight? Or, ooh, we could get you a seat warmer! How about that? Carolina: You know what we're up against! Epsilon: And you know what happened to the Meta! Carolina: ...What did you just say? Epsilon: He kept fighting for more and more power too, and in the end it got him killed. Carolina: Don't you ever talk about Maine like you knew him! Epsilon: I'm just trying to show you how close you're getting to crossing a very dangerous line. You're Agent Carolina! You don't need all this fancy stuff to win! You're already the best! Carolina: I appreciate the thought, Church. I really do. Epsilon: Good, 'cause I am really not all about this sincerity stuff. Carolina: But the only reason we survived the radio jammer is because Locus is insane! He could've killed Wash, and they both could've done a lot more! Epsilon: But they didn't! So what does it have to do with anything anyway!? Carolina: I told you when I went through the gateway that I saw the Freelancers... I had to watch them die. Epsilon: ...Oh... Carolina: And after they were gone, I saw all of you. ...Wash, Tucker, the Reds and.... Church, I can't lose another family. Cut to Doyle standing with two soldiers behind him, revealing to have heard their conversation. Doyle: You're scared. (Carolina and Epsilon turn to him) Er, forgive me. But I'm all too familiar with the feeling. Carolina: What are you doing here? Doyle walks up to them. Doyle: It's my favorite part of the Capital. Just far enough away from everything. I come here whenever I need a moment. It looks as though you had a similar idea? Epsilon: Shouldn't you be in the center of town, behind seventy-eight inches of bulletproof everything!? Doyle: Oh, there's all sorts of things we should be doing. We should be prepping our next move against the enemy. But instead we're here, standing around, talking. Epsilon: Yeah. You get used to it. Doyle: You know, I believe it was the great William Shakespeare who said: "Courage is not the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it." I don't believe those words have ever been more relevant. Epsilon: ...I don't think that was Shakespeare. Doyle: What? Epsilon: That quote. I don't think he said that. Doyle: ...Really? Epsilon: Yeah, pretty sure. Carolina: Uh, yeah. Doyle: ...Oh. Camera slowly pans out from the three. Carolina: Still. It's a good quote. Doyle: Thank you. Epsilon: Mmm... Well, here's to hoping the mercs are just as frustrated as the rest of us. Cut to the mercs' base, where Felix is angrily banging the useless key on a table whilst Locus and Sharkface watch from afar. Felix: I... AM EXTREMELY... FRUSTRATED!! Sharkface: Get a grip. Felix: How?! How do you forget to mention something as important as that?! Sharkface: We were in a hurry. Felix puts away the key, then pulls out his rifle. Felix: (darkly sarcastic) Oh, you were in a hurry? Hey, Locus, you know, I was really thinking about letting Sharkface live, but since we're "in a hurry", how about we just-fucking''-kill'' him?! Sharkface: I'd like to see you try. Felix: Done. (raises his rifle at Sharkface) Locus: No violence between partners. Felix: (lowers rifle) He's not a partner, he's an idiot! And thanks to him, we've got a key that does '''NOTHING' until the General is dead! '''Sharkface': Then we kill the General. Felix: The grown-ups are talking, Fishstick. Locus: Quiet! We have the advantage and we have a plan. So quit moaning, and do your job. (turns to Sharkface) Both of you. Sharkface: You're the boss. (Sharkface heads off, and Locus turns to Felix) Locus: I'll sync with the Tartarus. You need to get your head together. Felix: (scoffs then speaks under his breath) ''Said the raving lunatic. (''walks off) Locus approaches a screen and switches it on. The Counselor appears on it. Counselor: Locus. The Tartarus is maintaining orbit around the planet as discussed. Locus: Good. Counselor: Shall I inform Carmichael that you wish to speak with him? Locus: That won't be necessary. I'd like to ask you a few questions. Counselor: How can I be of assistance? Locus: I want to know more about the Meta. Gallery Donut and Dr. Grey.png Grey scares Doc.png Carolina watches Grey, Donut and Doc.png Reds and Blues with Palomo and Fed.png Doc runs past Reds and Blues.png Doc and Grey.png 13 13 00007.png Reds and Blues in Armonia.png Carolina and Epsilon at city limits.png Epsilon talks to Carolina S13.png Epsilon consoles Carolina.png Epsilon isn't failing.png Carolina can't lose another family.png Doyle with Feds.png Carolina and Epsilon correct Doyle.png 13 13 00011.png Locus orders Felix and Sharkface.png Locus orders Sharkface and Felix.png Locus speaks to Counselor.png Locus wants to know about the Meta.png Trivia *The title references the 93rd Highlander Regiment's last stand against a Russian Cavalry charge during the Battle of Balaclava. *Palomo spitting in his helmet when being tested to make nice with a Fed is a reference to Roomier Than it Looks, where Sarge, possessed by Church, does the same thing. *Carolina elaborates on what actually happened in her vision at the Jungle Temple. *Grif makes a reference to the sitcom Friends. *Sharkface's statement of Epsilon failing is proven to be incorrect as Epsilon states that he simply can't run all of Carolina's armor enhancements simultaneously. **This makes sense considering the only character who was shown to successfully run as many enhancements as Carolina tried to do was the Meta, who had 8 fragments to run his enhancements (Beta, Delta, Gamma, Theta, Eta, Iota, Sigma, and Omega,) as opposed to Carolina's 1. *Doc mentioning that he ran track in high school is mentioned again. *The Counselor's mention of Carmichael is a 'shout out' to the season's fight coordinator, Carmichael Simon. **The worker on the intercom also tries to page a 'Doctor Wooten', which is another 'shout out' to one of the Assistant Directors of the season, Koen Wooten. *Doyle's quote about courage is commonly attributed to American author Mark Twain, though many variations of it exist and the original version was probably made by an anonymous source. *During her talk with Epsilon, throughought certain close up shots Carolina is incorrectly seen with the DMR instead of her Battle Rifle. Video Category:Episodes Category:Season 13